The Theory of Mimind and Xesmind explains how humans can live happily. It also explains how married couples can achieve happiness. Marriage relationship is formed between the husband and the wife. The husband is a man and the wife is a woman. A man and a woman must exist as an individual before they form relationships. The man and the woman must exist as a happy person 

before they can exist as a happy couple. Individual’s happiness must precede the happiness of the couple. Couple’s happiness cannot be achieved when each individual is not happy. 

Then, what is individual’s happiness as a man and a woman? Men feel they are happy when they can generate energy of passion for immersion. Women feel they are happy when they can generate feelings of love for immersion.  Men and women as individuals feel happy when they can generate passion and love. 

On top of that, they add responsibility as a husband and a wife existing as a couple. The unconscious operates for giving and protecting out of the sense of responsibility. The combination of individual’s passion and love, and the sense of responsibility toward the spouse makes the couple’s happiness complete. Immersion into one’s passion is individual’s right and responsibility for the spouse is the essential element for couple’s happiness.

Couple’s happiness is achieved when the husband and the wife keep their individual right and take responsibility for each other. Of course, all couples go through difficult times as a couple in taking responsibility for the spouse. Most people look for causes of unhappiness in matters other than those described above. Many people attribute their unhappiness to economic situations, but economy is not a determiner of human happiness at all. Humans can achieve happiness only when they have right as an individual and take responsibility in a given situation. 

Both men and women have to find ways to generate passion and love as an individual before anything. Then, when they can fulfill their responsibility for their spouse, they can achieve happiness as a couple. Happiness is formed only within your mind. You yourself must feel happiness as a man and husband and a woman and wife. Happiness never comes from outside, materials, or your spouse.Most people think that happiness comes from outside, materials, or their spouse. Then, they form desire for external matters, materials or their spouse. Having such desires is as if you were demanding other people to generate your passion and love for you.

This condition generates stress and wounds and signals the beginning of conflicts. It is natural that we try to resolve conflicts when they happen. We try to get out of unhappiness through resolving conflicts. So, we demand, confront, and argue. Confrontation and argument with the spouse indicate that we want to recover happiness with the spouse. However, in most cases, conflicts continue instead of being resolved, and the couple stop talking to each other, which indicates that marriage crisis has occurred. 

Then, marriage relationship is easily broken upon the occurrence of small problems or incidents. In such condition, the husband wants to live only as a man, and the wife only as a woman. Both parties disregard their own responsibility and claim only their individual right. They are convinced that their spouse is to blame for their unhappiness. What can we do to prevent and solve marriage crisis?

The most important thing is to resolve conflicts. When conflicts occur in a marriage relationship, you must first heal stress and treat wounds. When you miss the time for healing and treatment, or do not know how to, each party will argue only for themselves more and more. When they cannot resolve conflicts on their own only aggravating the situation, professional help is required to recover marriage relationship. 

We must understand that the absence of conversation between the husband and the wife is a serious marriage crisis. Confrontation and argument are attempts to restore the relationship and happiness. Silence means you don’t need or want recovery. Then, one day, some problems or incidents may occur and they end the marriage relationship blaming each other. In many cases, married couples have serious misconception on conflicts in their relationship. 

You can assume that you are in a serious marriage crisis when you do not talk to each other, having conversation feels awkward, or even a short talk leads to an acrimonious argument. A couple may be communicating for necessary matters, but not having conversations exchanging thoughts, opinions, and feelings. What you need is conversation, not communication for a happy relationship. You need to make sure that you have conversations to check for your happiness in marriage relationship. Some couples may always end up arguing every time they have conversations. One party may be strong on his or her opinions and the other may suppress feelings. In both cases, it is recommended that you seek professional help. 

If you do not have confrontations or arguments, but have stress and wounds, each party needs to heal stress and treat wounds individually. It is important that you analyze what situation you are in, and properly address the issues to recover happiness as a married couple. Everyone has the right for individual happiness with passion and love, and should also take responsibility for their spouse. It is only natural that we develop stress and wounds in the process of trying to be happy together. 

Conflicts and confrontations are attempts to maintain happiness. It is easy to pursue only individual right and happiness since it does not involve taking responsibility. It may be harder but much more fulfilling to take responsibility for the spouse and pursue happiness together. Happiness of a married couple is not about sacrifice and devotion. It is about achieving happiness incorporating individual’s right and responsibility for the spouse. 

In the time of pandemic of Covid-19, couples experience more conflicts and difficulties in relationships. Couples are urged to be wise enough to accurately understand the dynamics of marriage relationship and achieve happiness. Please, do not ruin your marriage relationship based on misconception. When couples accurately analyze their situation and adopt proper methods for resolving conflicts, any couple can restore happy marriage relationship.